Change for Your Relationship
“It looks hopeless, but we want to save it.”
When the consequences of the situation and decisions in front of you may end your marriage, emotions run high.
When emotions are running high, most couples approach each other with feeling and words that almost guarantee their partner won’t hear them – feeding the cycle of rejection and hurt.
The levels of conflict are understandably high in couples where there exists:
- Impacts of sexual or pornography addiction
- Affairs and infidelity
- Engulfment or enmeshment that leads to inappropriate loyalty to the family you came from at the cost of the family you are creating together.
All of that can change.
I work almost exclusively with high conflict couples – marriages where the layers of hurt go so deep that remembering why you want to be together is a fleeting memory in a sea of hurt and resentment.
Couples that start work with me often have a difficult time even looking at each other, let alone talking through their issues.
The bulk of communication between two people in a marriage doesn’t come through the words they say.
We’ll put all of the forms of communication front-and-center in the room so you and your partner can fully hear and fully be heard.
Get to a better place.
I help couples get to the place where they can be knee to knee, face to face, and eventually heart to heart.
We’ll navigate around defenses built to keep your heart safe from the person you never thought you’d have to keep at a distance.
Working to get fully present in this way helps you and your partner to have a chance at remembering why you want this relationship to work.
Hard work gets rewarded.
We’ll celebrate the moments where the two of you get out of your heads, into your hearts and bodies, and step into the space between each other.
You’re going to learn how to have effective and healing conversations with each other, not at each other, and certainly not through me.
Eventually, you and your love will fully take in what’s being felt, what you both long for, and therefore truly hear what your partner is saying.
You two can be seen for the first time.
We’ll create a base of commitment, fondness, and love.
The difficult things you have to express to each other can turn into springboards for understanding, respect, and working together on problems – shoulder to shoulder – instead of pushing and pulling at one another.