Infidelity Or Affair Recovery

Things just got real… scary.

Many couples refer to it as D-Day…

… the day you discovered your spouse had been keeping sexual secrets.

… the day you realized you couldn’t keep lying and you disclosed everything.

… the day you were filled with despair, wondering if your relationship could survive this.

… the day you had to choose either to repair the relationship or to go your separate ways.

Nobody starts the relationship planning on the day where the bottom falls out and the love gets strained.

People don’t plan on the one they’ve chosen over everyone else to hurt them so deeply.

You thought D-Day was confusing…

There’s a lot of shock, a lot of yelling, and a lot of anger.

On one hand, it feels that it has to be over: There’s no coming back. On the other hand, there is more passion between the two of you than has been there in a long time.

What does it all mean?

The feelings are so intense and extreme.

It means you are feeling the trauma of betrayal, and both of you are looking for anything that will make it feel safe again.

A lot of couples go through a cycle of demanding and giving promises, staggered disclosures, and long conversations about what happened and what the past years together have meant.

Of course, the two of are looking for something to stabilize you… but it probably won’t come from the marriage… not yet.

Where do we begin?

Reading this means you are looking at options, one of which is qualified help.

After D-Day, it’s helpful to put all options on the table. The right therapist will help you explore all of those options. Each of you is about to make some of the most life-changing decisions you have ever faced.

We start with the relationship x-ray. Not only do I take a few sessions to get to know your relationship, but I also take time to get to know each of you.

I also use written assessments that pinpoint the strengths and liabilities in the relationship.

When it comes time to start the healing process, the three of us will go into that work with a lot of useful information about what we are working on and why.

Your relationship is far too important to rely on guess-work.

What’s going to happen next?

Next, we will work on making sure that both of your nervous systems can be fully present in the room. We make sure it is safe to be seen and to see your partner.

I sit my couples across from each other, knee to knee, face to face, heart to heart… because you need to not just hear your partner—but understand what they are experiencing.

We aren’t going to miss the thousands of things you say to each other with your bodies, your faces, and the tone of your words. I’ll help the two of you start seeing this previously hidden exchange in your relationship so that your relationship will strengthen between sessions.

The more you understand each other, the clearer the decision will be—and the more each of you will be able to pursue that decision with your whole heart… all while supporting each other.

Let’s get started…

I’m not afraid to dive into the heart of the intense emotions in your relationship right now.

Give me a call so we can get started on the road to recovery.

Use the contact form below to request an appointment.